When I made the decision to apply for summer camp, I wasn't in a particularly "good" place mentally. That's why I applied. I needed something to look forward to, something I've always wanted to do, and something "bigger" than myself. I can now say, with absolute certainty, that it was the right decision.
I spent my summer in the blistering heat, corralling a group of crazy, funny, frustrating little children. It was like herding cats trying to get those beautiful little monsters to go anywhere. It was full of late nights and early mornings. I've never worked so hard in my life and my body is still punishing me for it. It was mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting.
And I loved it.
I left a job which was pretty good, as far as office jobs go. The pay was decent, the people were great, my bosses were wonderfully understanding. It's just...it was all a little meaningless. I'm sure it meant a lot to the people who we were paying money to, but in the grand scheme of things it was just a little...flat.
Sure the money was considerably better, the hours were significantly shorter and it wasn't as draining. But it also wasn't as fun, it wasn't as rewarding, and it wasn't as life changing.
For the first time in months, I feel like a whole, confident, happy young woman.
For the first time in years, I feel like myself.
All of that is absolutely down to the friends I made and the children I worked with. There's something magical about the sweet respect (most of) the children gave to me without question, and the absolute acceptance I found in the mish-mash of people I found myself working with. Children and counsellors from all walks of life, from a hundred different kinds of backgrounds, we all found a place to call home at camp.
I came to camp hoping to make a difference in the lives of the children.
My confession for this post? The biggest difference that was made...was in my life. I never expected how much of a impact they would make on me. I hope that I made even half as much of an impression on them, as they did on me.
Some days were hard, I'll admit that freely. I won't pretend it was all fun and games. Some days, some weeks even, they were such a big handful that they'd reduce me to tears. Some days the only thing that would get me through would be hugs from understanding counsellors and candy. Lots of candy. But the wonderful days made it all worthwhile. The ones where I really connected with a child. Where they'd give me a huge hug and ask me why I looked sad. Where they'd run across the field to say goodbye to me. Where they'd come back to drop off a sibling and they'd remember me, though I never had them in my class or cabin. Those days are why I went to camp. Those are the days that I'll always remember.
Those are the reason I'll come back as many times as I can.
